Something Precious, Lost
by FidgeyTova
Summary: Hotsuma dreams of another life. 'How do you look someone in the eyes when you watched them die in your arms'


**Another Uraboku fic! Yay! I have nothing to say except maybe this…. I have a hard time writing fight scenes! **** And thanks to IronMaidensRevenge for proof reading!**

**A/N: This is just a story of a past life I made up for the two. In the past life/flashbacks, Shusei is still a boy. (The italics are the dream/ flashbacks.)**

**Also… I don't own Uraboku.. *sad face***

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**Something Precious, Lost**

Hotsuma was resting his head on his arms as he was sprawled out across his desk at school. The room was empty and quiet. But right now, he didn't mind that. It hadn't been a good day and he was in a rather foul mood to anyone who was unfortunate enough to cross his path. He had no desire to talk to anyone. It's not like anyone did anything to him to make him this way. He stared glumly out the window, thinking. Thinking of the dream he had the night before…

….

_It was an overcast afternoon, with potentially brighter skies later in the day. Hotsuma and Shusei were walking just out of reach of the Twilight Mansion's barrier on a little side trail shadowed by tall trees. They walked silently, just enjoying each other's company. Despite the cloudy skies, it was a nice day with a gentle breeze. But almost instantly the air turned sour. The calming breeze died and there was a sense of bloodlust looming in the air. Hotsuma and Shusei were on edge. They each knew this feeling. Hotsuma stared at Shusei. Shusei gave a confident grin back._

_Many Duras appeared out of nowhere, spawning in front of the two boys. Trying to get to Yuki, no doubt. Again Hotsuma glanced at Shusei. Being Zweilts, such things couldn't be ignored. Hotsuma and Shusei simultaneously called upon their weapons, poised and ready for the assault. Five tall Duras stood in front of them taunting the Zweilts. Hotsuma lunged forward with _Masterstroke _ready to attack or defend, and the Duras swarmed in on him. Shusei stood back, keeping an eye on the battlefield and looking out for his partner's safety. Hotsuma easily fell into a rhythm of blocking and attacking, keeping the demons at bay._

"_Hotsuma! There's one in the trees!" _

_Hotsuma heard his partner's warning and lit the tree ablaze. All that was heard was the screams of a Duras. One demon down, four left... _

….

"Renjou-kun."

Hotsuma looked up from his desk, and saw his teacher.

"You can leave now. Your detention is over." The teacher said as he walked out of the classroom.

Slowly, Hotsuma got up. He was tired, and was glad no one was left in the school. Only got a few hours sleep kind of did that to a person. Once woken from a nightmare, it's hard to want to fall back asleep.

….

_Shusei joined Hotsuma in the battle after he lit the tree on fire. After years of fighting side by side, words weren't necessary to communicate. A certain look was all it took for Hotsuma to know that, once Shusei was able to trap two Duras in the cage created by _Kurai Kurou, _he better hurry the hell up. Hotsuma immediately destroyed the Duras trapped inside, saving as much of Shusei's energy as he could._

"_Burn, Dark Ones."_

_More screams were heard as the cage was engulfed by flames. Shusei called back the cage and reformed his two blades. Shusei gave him a single nod then raced back into the fray of monsters joining his partner on the battlefield. _

….

Hotsuma left the school, with his bag thrown over his shoulder. He was slowly making his way back home, yawning all the while. All he wanted was to go home, collapse on his bed, and peacefully fall asleep without worrying about dreams, nightmares, or memories. He just wanted to drift into unconsciousness…

….

_The last two Duras were by far the strongest, Opasts. Hotsuma knew that between the both of them, their opponents were as good as dead. But he couldn't risk being over confident. To do so also meant being as good as dead. Hotsuma was aware that Shusei and his Duras were slowly drawing away from the battle with his Duras. But as the fighting got more and more intense, Hotsuma lost track of his partner. He did a wide swing, knocking his Duras to the side and quickly looked around. Shusei was nowhere in sight. Hotsuma had the upmost faith in his partner and they sometimes got separated. But something was nagging him, telling him it wasn't right this time. He could sense an… emptiness, was it? This unnerved him greatly. He couldn't be bothered with the damn Duras he'd been fighting with anymore. With one powerful stroke of his sword, he flung the Duras back again, giving him an opening. He took full advantage of it, came in and had cut the Duras from shoulder to abdomen. The Duras let out a disgusting shriek as it tried to cover its wounds. The demon fell to the ground and after writhing in pain for just a few seconds, stopped moving. _

'_Finally,' he sighed. Hotsuma quickly regained his composure and began calling out his partner's name. _

"_Shusei!"_

_No answer…_

….

Hotsuma had stopped walking. He was amidst a group of people waiting for the train to pass. The flashing lights and sounds of bells and people talking were steadily pissing him off. But it didn't stop the churning in his mind. He was wondering, just how truly important is the memory of a past life? Life after life, they fight. There's never anything new to expect. They are soldiers, and when they die, they'll be reborn to step foot on the battlefield again. So why should it matter what happened years, a lifetime ago? Why should a Zweilt, who's made to be born again, lifetime after lifetime, be forced to remember such pain? It doesn't change anything…does it?

….

"_Shusei!" Hotsuma screamed. Evidence of battle was all around him, destruction of the trees and shrubs going in every direction. It was nearly impossible to pinpoint where the battle had taken his friend._

"_SHUSEI!" His voice filled with panic now. He stumbled blindly through the trees. By luck, he had found a shred of clothing lying on the ground. Shusei's. But it was covered in blood. Hotsuma could only hope the blood wasn't Shusei's. _

'_Where are you?' he thought. He felt useless wandering aimlessly. He just needed confirmation his partner is alright. _

"_Shusei!" He yelled desperately, already anticipating no answer. To his surprise though, he heard something soft, almost in the distance, and turned to the source of the noise. _

'_Shusei….' _

….

Twilight Mansion was no further than another five minute walk, but a sense of unease filled him, made him anxious. Shusei was going to be there. That's never a bad thing, obviously, but after the memory, well, it felt a little awkward. How do you look in someone's eyes after…

….

"_SHUSEI!" Hotsuma spotted his partner leaning against a tree. He also noticed the dead Duras not far from him. He ran over to Shusei's side, afraid of what he might find, but stopped a few feet from Shusei. _

_Hotsuma felt a lump in his throat. He stared at his partner, dumbfounded. It wasn't good. Shusei's throat had been cut. Blood was dripping down his neck soaking his body. He walked cautiously to Shusei and knelt down next to him. He noticed shallow breaths and let out a sigh of relief. _

'_He's alive..' Gently, Hotsuma pulled his partner away from the tree, allowing his head to rest against his shoulder. It scared him how cold Shusei felt, the only warmth stemming from his blood stained clothes. _

"_Shusei…" Hotsuma breathed. What was there to say?_

_Shusei's eyes opened ever so slightly, enough to acknowledge Hotsuma's presence. A small smile formed on Shusei's lips, 'Thank goodness he's okay'. _

_Hostuma brushed Shusei's bangs aside so he could get a better look. A drop of water hit Shusei's face, mixed with his blood and ran down his cheek. Hotsuma looked up expecting to see rain, only to see the clouds hadn't opened up. He realized then that the drop was from him, a tear escaping his composure. He tried to hold back the waiting tears as he looked at Shusei again._

"_Let's get you home….it's not far." Hotsuma choked past the lump in his throat. "Yuki, she can help you..."_

_Shusei closed his eyes slowly. Hotsuma understood what Shusei could not physically say out loud._

'She can't….not this time…'

"_No! No, she CAN heal you!" Hotsuma lashed out, "It's her damn job! We fight to protect her! The least she can do is help us!"_

_Shusei just looked into his eyes. Then Hotsuma realized what Shusei had meant. Shusei wouldn't survive the trip home. Hotsuma looked over his body once again. It just wasn't his throat. He had broken bones on top of many other deep wounds. Shusei hadn't been able to move at all the moment he was rested against Hotsuma's body. There was no strength left in the Zweilt's body. The very act of staying awake was probably agony for the boy. _

"_Shusei…"_

_Shusei slowly moved his bloodied hand and put it on top of Hotsuma's hand. The ice cold feeling of Shusei's hand startled Hotsuma. He couldn't pretend anymore. He knew now… _

_His partner was going to die._

_Shusei had a brave face on, just to comfort his partner. _

'_That jerk,' Hotsuma thought. 'I'm the one that should be comforting you…' _

_Hotsuma looked at Shusei. His eyes were losing focus and his face was pale. His breaths were becoming labored. The two were both sitting in a pool of blood now. Shusei's breathing began to sound like he was choking. He sat Shusei up a little straighter to ease his breathing. At this point Shusei was beyond pain. Every breath he took was fire to his body, and that once gentle breeze was a thousand knives entering his skin at once. Hotsuma's presence alone soothed him keeping the agony at bay; at least he wouldn't die alone and scared. _

_Hotsuma wanted to jump up and get help, do something, anything! Shusei saw that, and with the last of his strength, he grabbed Hotsuma's hand. _

'Please, don't leave me…'

_Hotsuma wanted to scream. Here he was, alone with his partner who's about to die and he can't do anything! Not a damn thing! But he wouldn't deny Shusei's request. If he wanted him by his side…then he will stay._

….

Hotsuma walked through the doors of the mansion. Tsukumo and Touko were sitting on the couch, smiles on their faces.

"Hello Hostuma!" Tsukumo said, surrounded by candy and chips as usual.

"Finally out of detention are ya?" Touko asked wryly.

Hotsuma smirked and nodded for their sake. He didn't want to be questioned by them right now. He made his way up to his and Shusei's room and was soon standing outside their door.

He hesitated.

How do you look someone in the eyes when you watched them die… in your arms?

….

_It didn't take much longer. Shusei opened his eyes one last time and looked into Hotsuma's, conveying what he couldn't say._

'It's okay…'

_Hotsuma couldn't hold back the tears anymore and he squeezed his friend's hand letting him know that no matter how hard this is for him, he'll get by. Shusei's breaths came farther and farther apart and eventually stopped. Shusei's head fell into Hotsuma's chest. His body was ice cold. _

_Shusei was dead._

_Hotsuma was beyond emotion. _

_Numb _

_He couldn't comprehend what happened. Just this morning everything was normal! And now… everything was so wrong! He looked at his partner's body again, lying in his arms. He realized he wouldn't see that face smile again. He wouldn't hear him laugh again. He lost the only person he could confide in. The only person he truly ever trusted. The person, who knew everything about him, and without exception, accepted him. To be holding his limp body in his arms right now was an unimaginable thought. He laid his head next to Shusei's and cried. _

…

_He had brought Shusei's body back to the mansion. He was afraid to let Takashiro-sama take his friend away from him. If he handed Shusei over, that was it. It was final. It confirmed that Shusei had really died. _

_Takashiro-sama took Shusei's body and recovered his soul. Shusei would soon be ready to be reborn, possibly to suffer the same fate again._

_And again.. _

…

_Hotsuma had the other Zweilt around him, but he didn't want to be near them. He didn't want their comfort. He wasn't trying to push them away, he just…. couldn't be near them now. He had gone to his and Shusei's room and sat by the window and looked out at the stars. The stars were shining brightly, almost spitefully. He cursed the stars for being so beautiful at a time like this. For the rest of this life…he would be fighting alone. He didn't like that thought. He hadn't been able to stop crying today, so he didn't bother trying to stop now._

_After he collected himself the best he could, he looked up at the starts one last time and forced a smile for Shusei's sake._

'See you in the next life…Shusei'

….

Hotsuma opened the door to their room. Shusei was at the couch reading another one of his huge books. He took off his reading glasses and looked at Hotsuma

"Welcome home." He said simply.

"Hmm..." Was all Hostuma could manage.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I see."

Hotsuma saw Shusei studying him. He didn't like it, but understood well enough why he was doing it.

"If you need to talk, I'm here." Shusei told him as he picked up his book again.

Hotsuma remembered the time in this life where Ashley had abducted Shusei. When Shusei almost died…again. But this time Shusei stayed, because he told him to. Maybe experiencing such pain once has made them stronger now. Hotsuma still wasn't sure the significance of remembering what had happened back then, but right now, he was home. His best friend was alive and sitting across from him. And as long as Shusei understood how important and precious he was to him…

Hotsuma sighed and leaned his head back on the couch, "Everything's fine."

Shusei smiled, "Of course it is."

*THE END*

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**Phew! My first attempt at a tragic fic! Although it ended on a happy note, right?**

**I was thinking of doing another story like this, only Hotsuma is the one who dies. (I hate even writing that XD ) Can't guarantee it will happen but who knows! Maybe if everyone likes this story enough I will! :3 so review and let me know!**


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